Something on a bus

Greetiings all and apologys foe not posting in a while have been busy busy! In fact so busy im writing this on the bus to work! I am still very much enjoying myself here in the city and making lots of new friends, mostly from work but the office seems to only hire awesome people ^_^ so its all good.

I found an awesome new band to listen to called morningwood, and have been listen to them alot along with silversun pickups. In the next few weeks i would like to check out some metal bars as I have yet tp do so, hopefully find some more people to goto Sonisphere with. I am soooooooo frakin excited about A. Going to a fesival again and B. The super awesome lineup with so many awesome bands I havent had the time or money to see yet. So thankyou karma for correcting these wrongs!

And speaking of wrongs, what in the world is going on with scifi on tv!? There is leas and less theae days and as soon as stargate universe is xone we are smack bang out of space operas (oh how I miss BSG). On the upside we have awesome things like castle to watch and i think dexter isnt far off also. But for those of you that watch castle... DAAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNN how hot was becket in that last episode eh?!?! (see now you wanna watch it dont you) haha.

Another topic thats been on my mind is un packing, strange yes I know but ive recently been thinking that since after moving out my dorm room from the first yeah of uni I have never really unpacked properly. Never fully un packed my suitcase, why didnt I? What was I waiting for? I guess it was fine when I was still at uni but take my home on bournemouth, i was there for  a good while and wasnt planning on going anywhere but there my open suitcase sat next to the bed till the day I packed it and left. Was I waiting to leave all along or was i just insecure abiut my future? Ill never know but what I do know is my suitcase is fully unpacked and put away, I dont know how long ill be in this house but I want it to feel like home and not a stoping point before moving on again. Now all that remains is to find the time, money and help to get my remaining things from Bournemouth.

Well thats as far as i got typing on my phone, Im now home and finishing off this post on my PC, which is a tad bit faster to type on than my shiney new phone, the Samsung Galaxy S 2! Its sooo awesome and super fast, awesome camera and this time with flash! unlike the last galaxy. Having a smart phone is seriously awesome, I linked it my facebook and msn/hotmail, it pulled all my friends into my contact lists with pictures, all the events im going to  into my calender along with everyone's birthdays too! has all the features like gps and 'n' wifi, bunch of games, got a bit of music on there too as it has 16gb storage, 12gb usable the rest is system reserved, really considering to let lis replace my 160GB archos as the screen is the same size, 4.3inch, and it has a micro sd slot expanded memory, so im sure I can get by only taking a 3rd of my music around... provided i stick a big enough card in lol also got my showreel on here too which is handy for networking. Oh and one of the best features, especially with the awesome weather weve been having, usable in direct sunlight! woot! well enough of me bigging up my phone, ill put it away before it goes missing, i see my Gorn bobble head eyeing it up and he dont fuck around, dont believe me just ask captain kirk ^_^

Been feeling a little homesick last few days, well not really home home, just my friends, i miss drinking and dancing/rocking with them at TW. Also been missing all the kool people down in Bournemouth too! OH and congrats to Fearne who won the dorset music awards!

Sooooo tired now, this eek has been exhausting and its not even wednesday, but tomorrows another day and I have my hair dye now so red hair! here we go again!

Untill next time!

Something Sobering

Once again I return to the web of the world to deliver unto you more information about my London escapades! and oh god did my head hurt after this one lol, been busy busy busy once again, places to go, people to see, the days go so fast im barely finding time to write this!

So I was talking to a friend that used to live in London, they were asking how things were and where I was living, the response after I told them was a bit shocking, how they wouldnt set foot here because of all the gun crime and stuff, im like er..... shit..... er well it doesnt seem that bad, and to be honest, it really doesnt, I've seen more shit kicking off along margate seafront every single night I go out for last god knows how many years, now I know I've only been out a few times but I've not seen anyone kicking off when I've been on the way home yet, but then theres the word... yet. im sure I'll be fine but THANKYOU for putting that niggling doubt in back of my head.

And as for nights out.... oh deary me, so we rewind back to Friday night, we all get out of work and head to the nearest bar, 5 seconds later we arive at the company owned bar lol, it was a long and tirering journey and beers were baught to quench our souls haha. Now every Friday so far I've either not been able to stay because of other plans or only been able to stay for one. But this week there was nothing planned and nice weather to drink outside and socialise, FINALLY! I thought to myself I can start getting to know the peeps I haven't met yet and start to learn some more names, which if you know me, im aweful at remembering so im making extra effort. Quite a few beers go by as do conversations and then there was port and cheese. Slighty confused im not one to say no to free stuff, most certainly not alcohol. Then the beer returned with talk of heading into town, sweet I think to myself, finally I can start exploring the clubs and stuff. At this point I dont think I realised quite how much I had to drink on an empty stomach, see now here is my first mistake of many that night. by the time we finish the taxi ride to soho the drink had kicked in a bit more and totally dont remember the first place we went, and after more beers and shots, not the second or finally third place either. I do remember some dancing from everyone and a good time being had by all and one crazy member of the party jumping from a banister rail to the stage and only just making it, I cant believe we didnt get chucked out or that the bosses could get so rowdy. I think we left about 2:30 or 3ish whenone of the older guys started to run out of steam, I think we were all smashed by then though. I remember getting pointed in the right direction to get the bus and off I went to hunt down the noodle shop I found last time, and upon finding it I was quite happy and well I thought the night had gone, completely obliviouse I had raped my bank balance in doing so. Then we come to the bus home and yet again the bus that I need is no where to be seen for ages *angry face* every 20 mins my arse! so I jump on another that I know take me within very easy and short walking distance...... next thing I know im walking down a road and suddenly realising no... no... this totally isnt where im living. Thats right blacked out on the bus, dont remember getting off at all nor where the left overs from my noodles went that I didnt finish. I nearly completely sobre up in seconds and check the nearest bus stop, I had taken the bus to the end of the line, thats TWICE as far as I need to go. Shout out to my good friend who rang me up after txtin them at silly hours and stopped me from getting lost and panicing. Lucky for me I hadnt walked far from the stops and found the one back which I rode with very wide eyes that were not going to fail me again! By 5AM I was finally tucked up in bed after downing a drink of water. Yay adventure!

Saturday was of course a near complete write off, I had just about managed to feel better and eat something in time to go back out and see my friends band, FEARNE, if you haven't heard of them before then here are links to the youtube and spotify of the band,

http://www.youtube.com/user/fearnemusic

Fearne

They are totally awesome and deserve as much support as we can give them! It was good to catch up with the guys from the band, I miss not being local to them, there gigs are always good and full of energy. So cheers for the good night lads! Also I believe my 3D skills might be put to use if i can make up a good bit of CG for the guys to use, maybe a whole songs worth! stay tuned to FEARNE and you might see more.

And then the most awesome day of the week or even whole time in london so far! I found some fellow fire spinners! A whole bunch of them do a monthly meet up for fire down by the thames on a tiny beachy area during a full moon low tide. We had fire hola hoops, poi, staff, fans, rope dart thingy that was kool, and one dude doing fire breathing. There was also plenty of Glow everything as well, the hola hoops leading to some great photos I think. I have many photos and quite a bit of video to get up on my youtube and facebook so check it out if you know me, if not then just google fire poi and you will see what I mean. Damn its been so long I had forgotten how much I LOVE doing fire poi, so lucky someone let me use theirs for a bit. I will have to definatly start going to the weekly meet ups when I can, but as proof of how theres always something to do, my wednesday is already booked to goto the cinema, just not enough days in the week eh?

Which brings me to this week and next, the department lead is off for 2 weeks and on thursday we lose a senior for a week and half. leaving our 5 man team quite weak and with less days to get the work done too! I think the comming days will be a test and one I plan on passing!

So party on people, PARTY ON!
I'll just be over here in the corner finally taking a nap from it all

Adiós!

Something About Food

So my god have I been a busy fucker no posts since the 24th! holy crapendas!

So to start with I have a place! woohoo! sharing a house with 2 other guys, its a nice house with a big garden that screams for summer BBQ's! also last week work told me I would of earned 3 holiday days by the end of the year and that I HAD to take them, damn life is hard right? So I took the opportunity to dash back home and party with friends then fill up mums car while hideously hungover, then enjoy the rest of my 5 day weekend lol. Really happy to have some of my stuff with me now and no longer living out a suitcase! The new house mates have been nice enough to cook for me a few times and of course I have returned the favour with awesome cooking of my own, something i hope to regularly with all sorts of meals, and also get friends over, so if you know me and are not an internet random! (unless its you binty), then feel free to msg me and we can sort something out.

By the time I finish work tomorrow I will of been there a whole month and boy has the time flew by! I just cant believe I've been here that long already. I am still enjoying every day so far, I goto work with a smile and I come home with a smile, and I don’t think I've smiled this much in my life EVER.

The April meet rolled round for 3ds London, again strange to think the first one I went to a month ago was the day after my interview and I remember telling my lovely friends how awesome it would be to live in London and we can hang out and go drinking and stuff, and also asking for sofa's to surf should I get a job. And now here I telling those I hadn't got to see over the last month how awesome my life has suddenly become! Now the twist of this evening of drinking and 3dsmax, when it ended and we made our way to the tube to commence the journey home, we get there and I notice the Victoria line is flagged as disrupted service and I start thinking "oh shit....." I then find the fault is at Brixton, the last stop and destination for myself where I would normally switch to a bus for the rest of the way. So I cant go round the problem and not wanting to chance buses from anywhere else I could randomly get off at, I choose to try and find the place I had got a bus from before on my only night out in London town. I had a rough direction and decided its adventure time! and off I trot wondering if I'm doing the right and half not caring. I'm never gonna learn where anything is purely using the tube now am I? the streets start to look a little busier and I think I'm going in the right direction. But then I see a noodle bar, I realise hold on, I've only had 6 inch sub for dinner so far and probably wont get back in time to cook anything, AND under the kebab compass theory, eating food on a homeward journey both increases the chances of getting to where your going and get there quicker by 9001%!!!! How this happens I have no idea but it is FACT. Before I knew it, my chopsticks and I were suddenly in a place I recognise and BAM I'm on my way to the bus stop when what would catch my eye other than a group of in-line skaters doing some fancy tricks to music while running up and down a line of cones. It was awesome to watch/eat food/listen to the music, but I thought hey, why not say hi? I miss skating both in-line and ice skating so much and making friends with people who do it regularly would get me back into it in no time! so after chattin' and finding regular meeting spots I say my goodbyes and thankyous for being awesome and get the bus home, there must of been issues there too because there wasn’t one for ages even though they suppose to run regularly. This all adds up to me getting home about 10 past midnight.... I was shattered and a little annoyed I was too tired to write a blog post, watch something awesome and do the housework I had been meaning to do, but I got all that done today instead so I'm all happy face again! ☺☻☺

Also another reason to be happy face is that there is an ice rink within easy walking distance.... AMAZING! like complete jizz in my pants AMAZING! you just cant be bored in London i swear, should be a crime! So bring on pay-day, its time to buy some new poi and skates. Right I think I've probably rambled on for long enough, I know there are things I've forgotten that I wanted to blog about but they will just have to wait till I remember or be forever lost for all time!

Adiós Amigos!

Something Fixed

How the time is flying here in London! Im finding my free time slips away so quickly in the evenings! Especially like today when I was lucky enough to attend an event at Autodesk HQ, for those that dont know they make the 3d program I use, 3ds max. Got a good glimpse of things to come while getting my fill and then some of the free booze and food, and for someone on a tight budget before payday was very welcome lol. it was also a good chance to network and meet other max users which is always good no matter the time or place, so it was time well spent!

I have been talking to friends recently about my life has changed in many ways since landing my new job, one major thing that has been fixed in my life is my depression, which is all but gone. I have been so much happier in general and I think this has had knock on effects to things like my diet, my sleeping, obviously my mood and interation with others. Nearly everything feels different, better somehow and it seems all because im waking up and looking forward to going to work instead of waking up and wondering if I should end it all and top my self, throw myself in front of a bus/lorry or generally plan on going on a rampage first and killing the some of the lowest IQ people to ever look down on me while working at CURRYS. Yeah thats right, I'll name and shame the shittiest company I have ever worked for, not only due to the fact that my intelligence and product knowledge was no where near acknoledged, my customer service being of the highest standard yielding many a return customer, you just get shat upon from a great hieght by everyone working above you and 90% of customers. I can only imagin this is the same in nearly all retail positions so for those of you still customer facing, I feel for you and I truely mean that.

</rant>

As I was saying, one of the things I am most greatful for in this big hurricane of change in my life is my ability to sleep. I have gone from years upon years of sleeping trouble where it could take me 3 or 4 hours to get to sleep, if i even sleep at all, to a point where i can lie down, roll over and goto sleep! After all this years this is bliss! I can even fall asleep with my friend hacking and slashing away in dragon age 2 literally a metre away from me. Then when the morning comes and I've slept well, even on a sofa, i get up and get read for my day at the office. I remember day after day, fighting against heavy eyelids to even get out of bed, let alone STAY out of bed and wake up properly before trying to cycle to work.

Theres only one thing that still bugs me several times a day, I still think about my ex. Although alot of the dreams/nightmares have stopped, I still find me wondering how she is, worrying over if her work is still treating her like crap and taking advantage of her. She wasnt just a girlfriend to me though, she was my best friend. It bothers me greatly even after these months that I let both her and myself down so much. If I can help it I will never let myself get to such a low poing in my life that I cant even look after myself properly. A point where I have become so haunted by all the shit in my life that I become blind to the feelings and needs of those around me. How can you make someone you love happy if you can even be happy within your self. Looking back I see so many times I could of tried harder, put in more effort, and shown more appreciation for the little things we had between us. I dont know if i need to forgive myself and move on hold on to this regret and make sure I never let it happen again. Easy to say when I am finally moving through a better part of my life but depression is a powerful thing, I hope I never cross paths with its ugly face again and hope that if you too are struggling with depression, that you A) get help from ever source you can but be careful with what anti depression drugs you are presribed, and B) talk to your friends about how you are feeling, they will lend you the support you need and maybe some good avice for deeling with whatever specific problem is maybe at the heart of your feelings.

This brings me to another topic I've been thinking on, being the BEST person, the best version of you that is posible. How can you make sure your being the best you can be, working the hardest towards a goal in life. How do you after realising you can be so much more, so much better a person, rid yourself of a life time of bad habbits, bad automated reactions to specific things. How do you learn to let it all go? Grow up, Man up? This is not to say im a total dick and am hated by everyone, I just want to know how to better myself, its going to be a struggle but it is very important to me I lose the bad attitudes I sometimes have and learn that I cant always have things the way I want. We all have things we dont like about ourselfs and its up to us to change, but for now I am greatful for the positive changes in my life and hope they continue.

Tomorrow will mark the end of my second week at my new job, im still loving it, making new friends around the office and even managing to get some poi done in the park at lunch times, I might even start teaching people from work ^_^ also have yet another room viewing, hopefully i can finally lock down a  to call home and stop living out of a suitcase!

Good Night to you all!

Something Simple

Hello World!

It would seem I have survived my first week in London! I have really enjoyed it so far, nearly everything seems right somehow. I find it strange how quickly I've settled into a routine, the commute to work, the lunch across the road, dinner and watching castle(my new tv obsession) all happen the same time every day. Im slightly wary about settling into a routine as that is what threw me into chaos and dispair not so long ago. And I still bump into something everyday that reminds me of the friend I lost. I think im getting better at avoiding the thoughts but I still deeply miss this person and still regret ever taking them for granted.
But back to recent events, I've manage to get through a week of work, they even trusted me with a project to work on by myself, and it turned out quite good!, it will be interesting to work with the different architects over the comming months and its one of the many things I look forward to.

Im still trying to find a place to live, seen a few places but nothing quite meshes just yet and they also arnt available till next month so ive got a while to decide, although I did have a first yesterday, I was stood up when I went to view a room, their loss im sure lol. But it does make me wonder how hard something so simple as being somewhere or doing something that you say your going to do can be. This could be for a friend, at work, or in this case being around to meet a stranger looking for a new place to live. It did get me thinking though, have I let anyone down rencently, maybe it was YOU! if so im sorry, I do try to keep my promises or arrangements and in light of the other day I will try and keep an extra eye on when I say I will do things for people to make extra sure I follow through.

So only a short post today as im sleep and mondays are 8:30 starts instead of 9, so I really should be in bed already, if you can call the sofa that haha. missing friends old and lost, my pc, ps3 and pixeljunk shooter that i got to play for like a day :(, personal space, and my pushbike, i feel like a slob, i havent exercised in so long and i miss riding! once i get my place and my first paycheck i can begin to fix these missing things in my life.

Have a good week people!

Something Assisted

Well well well ladys and gents, im here in London now and have now had 2 days at my new job!

Day 1 was a little mad, started at 8:30 so i had to be up at 7, a time i hadnt seen in a long while, even working at currys back in bournemouth, it only took me 20 mins to cycle so was never up before 8, but i didnt wake up at 7.... oh dear... however i wasnt late, no I just happened to wake up at 5!! which turned out to be quite motivating as from the sofa i was sleeping on, i sat with my cuppa tea and watched the sun come up right outside the window. It felt as if the was rising not only to start a new day but a new chapter in my life filled with a new place, a new job, and new friends!
The day started with the Monday meeting with everyone upstiars hearing about where we are on the major projects on the go, everything was way over my head, I didnt have a clue! The lady who was suppose to give me my induction isnt in today so it had to wait for today, so I spent the day be told about how projects are organised, and was paired up with someone for a bit to watch them work. with the feeling that im in way over my head after been shown loads of stuff lunchtime hits and I go across the road to the bar the company owns to get some food, had a big tasty handmade bun filled with yummyness made even tastier by the fact we get a nice big discount too. So we eat outside and talk about working in 3d and a few other things, I find out most of the office comes over here for drinks on friday night too, so ill definatly be doing that while getting to know people better. Then back to work and continue watching and discussing the work my new workmate is doing, i even found a few shortcuts he didnt know about, so i wasnt completly useless. I get to look through a bunch of project files to get a feel for the way the organise things, hows files are set and general level of detail stuff when i find a mistake in one of the models, just so happens it was one of the current projects and no one had seen it, go me! So then one fo the architects comes down and needs something off my new friend a bit quick, so I teamed up with him and we both worked on the file, I continued doing some basic modeling while he fixed up some better lighting and set up the render. All in all a good day I think, I was really worried that I would be totally useless for a while. I come back to my friends where i am crashing and pretty much do just that, completely shattered I just about remember to change the alarm as the rest of the week we start at 9.

Day 2! I get a good nights sleep and dont wake up mega early, everything went like clockwork and for the second time I strolled off the bus stop with a big smile on my face music in my ears, a bit of the Silversun Pickups that I recently found and some Nickelback and Theory of a Deadman. Into work and i put my coat away and head to the mini kitchen we have downstairs to make my first of many, Earl Gray teas, oh yes infinate earl grey all day! my supervisor sets me up with someone else today while my log on details are sorted and i can have my own set up with company email and everything. This was a different type of project than the one i was watching/helping yesterday, we had to set up some shots to be camera matched to survey data and then comped into the backplate. Tedious work but one was quite challenging which was fun and i got a bit of input on the set up and photo shop work we did. It turns out there is such a thing as a free lunch, I got one while we had a presentation about a new portal/management system we will be getting next month. after lunch I had my induction and got some more info i had to read through, the usual stuff for health and saftey as well as more office stuff like how their telephone system works. Turns out every desk has its own phone... "I" have a phone, this as well as the fact my desk is massive! about 2.5x1.5m with dual monitor setup, makes me feel somewhat important and awesome ^_^ I end the day with helping again with what I was working on yesterday.

I should be getting a place of my own sorted soon too if all works out, although I was suppose to goto a viewing on monday it got put back to today and then again at last minute to tomorrow but I still have hopes things will work out. I really cant wait to have my own room again, even if my friends sofa is quite comfy and long enough to fit my lanky 6'1" body on  completely. With my own place I can then move my stuff up and start practising at home on Vray, Im a little more out of practice than i want to be and I really want to show these guys I can do good work and work hard.

And here is the suckerpunch trophy! awesome isnt it :)

Now its time for me to watch some more castle and eat my 30p noodles, relax and sleep.

See you on the otherside!

Something for You

Sometimes life sucks, a depressing start but the truth, and sometimes like what has happened in my life recently can be filled with awesome things happening.

But unless you live in Japan and just had your whole life washed away, my bet is your life isn’t as bad as you think it is! Now over the last 2 days ive felt so powerless watching the devastation caused by the earthquake and following tsunami in Japan. This as well moving to London today has left me somewhat sleep deprived so im sorry if this post seems a little off. I truly wish I could get out there, help with anything I could, either with supporting people in some way, clearing/sorting through the debris, or even help rebuilding further down the line. But this is unrealistic since im not trained in any way, nor part of any relief groups.

So what can you do? you can donate to the red-cross! anything you can give will help a lot! please follow this link to help:
http://www.redcross.org.uk/Donate-Now/Make-a-single-donation/Japan-Tsunami-Appeal

On a brighter note, it seems that its not just myself that is having luck in my life, there are new jobs going everywhere and quite a few of my friends seem happier, others like my good buddy Dani Abram (check out her blog in my side bar>>> over there >>>>) and another friend Paul are buying a house! so congrats to you guys!

And for those of you still selling your souls, I say to you this,
DONT GIVE UP! DONT GET WALKED OVER! AND KEEP PUSHING YOURSELF FORWARDS!
don’t let the world pass you by in a dead end job that you hate! I like to read a lot of the lifehacker blog and I think it makes a good read, give it a try starting here:
http://lifehacker.com/#!5707473/the-minimalist-guide-to-leaving-your-soul+crushing-day-job

But if you are feeling like life is just getting too much, you have me and many other friends who will be happy to talk to you and give you advice and support. Your not alone, I think nearly everyone I know has been there. I went through 2 years of retail hell try and waiting to get a better job, a god job, a job I spent 4 years at uni for! im just thankful for the time I spent outside of work, I spent with some very special and awesome people.

And now here is my last day in the Marghetto, my suitcase that I will be living out of for an uncertain amount of time is packed, my computer will be stored away along with my awesome TV and ps3. I must yet again leave my friends behind me, my whole head is a turmoil of emotions right now I don’t think I can put into words how I feel.(yeah yeah I know kinda pointless blogging about something I cant write right?) I just have to remember that they have their own lives, it would be selfish to wish they would stay part of my life everywhere I go. but neither am I abandoning them, I know where they are, I have phone numbers and facebook so they will never be far, and this makes me happy that for sure. what also makes me happy is to have old uni friends back in my life again, those who too have escaped to/been trapped by London. I hope more of the people ive met in my travels make it to the jobs the want, maybe it will even bring you closer to me again and we can go for a drink, catch up, maybe have a game of poker/streetfighter/pool. now if your sitting there thinking "well nothings come along yet" STOP RIGHT THERE! its never going to come, you gotta go out there, jump in the ring, kick life’s ass and take it for yourself! If you need qualifications,? get them, a portfolio? make one, experience? work for free! as much as people don’t like to admit it, they have plenty of free time, its just spent elsewhere, even those social commitments you think you cant give up like those drink sessions/house partys or an extra night of raiding on wow or that footy game you just cant miss. You can miss them actually, and it wont kill you either, what will kill you is the depression from that dead end job your still in, mine nearly killed me and as your friend or random blogger you may have just happened to stumble upon, I don’t want that for you. So for me, your friends, and most importantly yourself, do what you need to do! There is always time for drinking and footy after you score a better job right? so get out there and start kicking ass! extra points if its a zombie ass just don’t get bitten :P

Something I forgot to mention last time was the wonders of a band called Silversun Pickups, recently have had a track titled Panic Switch used in the trailers for Suckerpunch, they have an awesome sound, do check them out on spotify for free!
http://open.spotify.com/artist/6qyi8X6MdP1lu6B1K6yh3h
and speaking of Suckerpunch... OMG, thats all i have to say on the matter, and stay tuned for possible pics of an acquired movie banner ^_^

Well that's enough ranting for now I think, from now on my only connection to the world will be my new phone, finally one with interwobbles, and my new workstation at work! speaking of work, less than 24 hours still I start! wish me luck its time to start a new adventure!!!

Be excellent to each other.

And go get something for you.